Precipitation in the form of white, fluffy, crystalline structures is WRONG, particularly in April. Wrong as in unacceptable, unwelcome, unsolicited, un-spring-like.
The only times that snow is acceptable are as follows:
1. Christmas Eve - sorry to all the non-Christian folk out there if this statement offends you. I know how uber-sensitive you've become, thanks to retards like Al Sharp-tongue, Jesse Jackass, Osama Bin PlanningAnotherBigTerroristAttack, but JESUS! I'm referring to snow here! (Author's note: I humbly apologize if I have inadvertently offended the genuinely handicapped with the implied association to the aforementioned retards. It is not my intention to make fun of retarded people, just to offend those who demonstrate consistently retarded behaviors.) and
2. Monday morning, or any other morning, when you wake up and don't feel up to dealing with retards all day just to keep a roof over your head and food in your big, fat bellay.
The silver lining to all of this white stuff? The robin, the epitome of the arrival of spring in my geographical area, is forced to lose some weight. It seems that this "epidemic" of obesity does not discriminate against any form of species. It amazes me that these birds can actually fly!
I hereby tender a new moniker for these fat bastards: Robin Big Breasts
All in favor, say "aye!"
The only times that snow is acceptable are as follows:
1. Christmas Eve - sorry to all the non-Christian folk out there if this statement offends you. I know how uber-sensitive you've become, thanks to retards like Al Sharp-tongue, Jesse Jackass, Osama Bin PlanningAnotherBigTerroristAttack, but JESUS! I'm referring to snow here! (Author's note: I humbly apologize if I have inadvertently offended the genuinely handicapped with the implied association to the aforementioned retards. It is not my intention to make fun of retarded people, just to offend those who demonstrate consistently retarded behaviors.) and
2. Monday morning, or any other morning, when you wake up and don't feel up to dealing with retards all day just to keep a roof over your head and food in your big, fat bellay.
The silver lining to all of this white stuff? The robin, the epitome of the arrival of spring in my geographical area, is forced to lose some weight. It seems that this "epidemic" of obesity does not discriminate against any form of species. It amazes me that these birds can actually fly!
I hereby tender a new moniker for these fat bastards: Robin Big Breasts
All in favor, say "aye!"
1 comment:
aye-veh!
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