Poor Norm! In my mind's eye, I always pictured my "son" carrying out the most humanitarian of jobs. You know the ones; helping the developmentally challenged turn on the lights, aiding law enforcement in discovering large caches of contraband, soothing lonely octogenarians with his mere presence.
Alas, the dream is dead. The table has turned. The ball is in my court. I now spend hours on the net, futilely searching for that elusive white cane that is easily manipulated by its master, who, through no fault of his own, possesses no opposing digit. Age has reduced Poor Norm to a shell of his former, most kewl self. Cataracts have clouded his vision and judgement. Recurring bacterial infections have destroyed his ear drums. Dysplasia has ended his phenomenal frisbee career. You may think my "parental" opinion is biased, but even the eldest offspring of my parental units thinks Norm is kewl, and he, like Life Cereal's Mikey, HATES EVERYTHING!
I now find myself guiding Poor Norm through the obstacles of life - the furniture, the demon cat and the doorjams that will inevitably thump his nose producing a pathetic "YELP!" I am proud to report, however, that he has mastered the ups and downs of stairs, with my constant coaching and counting of each and every step. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
Alas, the dream is dead. The table has turned. The ball is in my court. I now spend hours on the net, futilely searching for that elusive white cane that is easily manipulated by its master, who, through no fault of his own, possesses no opposing digit. Age has reduced Poor Norm to a shell of his former, most kewl self. Cataracts have clouded his vision and judgement. Recurring bacterial infections have destroyed his ear drums. Dysplasia has ended his phenomenal frisbee career. You may think my "parental" opinion is biased, but even the eldest offspring of my parental units thinks Norm is kewl, and he, like Life Cereal's Mikey, HATES EVERYTHING!
I now find myself guiding Poor Norm through the obstacles of life - the furniture, the demon cat and the doorjams that will inevitably thump his nose producing a pathetic "YELP!" I am proud to report, however, that he has mastered the ups and downs of stairs, with my constant coaching and counting of each and every step. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
1 comment:
Yes, tiz troo #4, Nerm beez ultra-cool. Much sadness here. I miss cheesiefying him, as I'm sure he does.
(sarcasm on)
The again he'd miss them all, seeing as how heez not seeing.
(sarcasm off)
Say Hi from Uncle Non for me.
Take ker
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